Why “Why Is That Important to You? Is the Question That Unlocks True Connection

This past weekend I joined the “A Small Group Intensive”, led by Peter Block and Elaine Jones. About twenty-five participants gathered from Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Ohio, all with a heart for community engagement and transforming the places we call home. The spirit of hospitality set the tone—it reminded us that creating a welcoming space and food is essential for authentic connection.

The morning sessions explored “The Six Conversations” that foster belonging and are the core to the “A Small Group” methodology.. These conversations are not about small talk; they are about deep listening and asking questions that open new possibilities for understanding.

One question in particular struck me: “Why is that important to you?”

On the surface, it seems simple. But when asked with patience and sincerity, it has the power to move past surface beliefs, fears, and even political biases. It uncovers the deeper values that unite us—peace, liberty, love, trust and more--all rooted in love.

This question doesn’t try to change someone’s mind. Instead, it creates a doorway to compassion. It invites us to see one another more clearly, especially in difficult or polarized conversations. Whether in a neighborhood meeting, a civic dialogue, or even around the dinner table, this question can transform the way we relate to one another.

I’ll be weaving this practice into my course, The Four Cornerstones of Living, especially in the section on purpose. Because at the heart of purpose is not just what we do, but why it matters. And, few questions get us there as directly as: “Why is that important to you?”